where have i been?

been very busy. CNY was so much fun but i didnt have the time to even journal anything.

i had been stressed lately (but not since yesterday) as ive gotten over it.

work was the culprit. bidding for a product launch of a PDA with back end support. you cant imagine how much thinking goes into a pitch. of course we want the project, hence from field work to database profiling, to launch mechanics-- are basically a lot of work. and it's not good enough to wow our client. before CNY, we bid for one mega project ,, trying to create the singapore fire festival, but the client said no. too much money involved. but hey, they were the ones who said they've got quarter to a million to spend. so is that hot air or what. small scale seminar went well. that is easy job for me now that ive done a few of that. you know, queuing speakers and all. some speakers are even more nervous than me. my colleague assigned me to do emceeing. gosh, i cant for goodness sake. im SHORT, looks like a midget behind the podium. and i dont sound like a DJ for goodness. my voice is good for hypnosis and not to host an event. so i *siam *siam.. felt bad becos my colleague took up the job at the eleventh hour. she's good. she's good at anything. PR, presentation, hosting, research. anything. i always tell my husband that i PALE in comparison with my 2 colleagues. their wealth of experience is fabulous. that's why i feel pressured. becos i am expected to be just like them. they see no problem in me doing anything. not knowing that i feel utterly insecure. i tell myself that i should rise up to the challenge becos this is one great opportunity for me to double up, buck up, to bring my quotient higher. ya. but feeling lack in capability is not a good feeling. panicky may i add. luckily, they are nice ppe. they dont make me feel any less worthy or be impatient with me. that is what i really appreciate about them. once i got the proposals out, it was relief. well, till the client comes back and say - "you got the job!",, i'll leave the worrying till then. as it is, there are 2 other projects in-hand. F3- Fun, Fit & Fabulous! 2005. our brain child. joint organiser HPB-- health promo board. we are bringing entrepreneurship training into schools, weaving health messages into it. 3 mega event days in 3 different schools. seek sponsorship, brief contractors, source for DJ stint, trainers, st john ambulance, sports council... you're bored i know.

one memorable thing abt CNY is that my cousin is out. from prison.
starting life anew, after being foolish. you know, it is easy to think that you can get away with anything if you've thought of all loopholes and covered them.

we had so much fun playing the silly 24 card game. you know-- you can + - X divide all four cards on the table to arrive at number 24. and another game where we mix any form of sauce- chilli, tomato, soya sauce, pepper, with pepsi, yeo's drinks and 7up whatever. looser gotta drink up. bottoms up no cheating. my cousie's wife is sporting. she drank a super awful concoction. thumbs up! glad she's family. hahaha.